Thought recently exam week nothing special will happened yet a sudden incident happen and it make me speechless...Beginning of this month i got the news that my grandmother had sent to hospital due to some slightly health problem. At first i thought that there's nothing serious since she is old and it is quite normal if she been in out the hospital due to health problem. Anyway days to days i get news that she seem bcm seriously and i still dun believe that a normal old lady would suddenly have serious sick although she did hv cancer b4 yet she is a person that had walk at the edge of death before and able to survive from it til now...She had such a strong-willed person i had seen before who able to break any prediction or forecast from any feng-shui master!!!
Well i even bet v mum that she will keep survive until i go bk for holiday later and so strongly blive that she able to get well..this is not just kinda of praying, blessing yet a kind of strong feeling everything will become normal back!!! I so trust myself and grandma as well...
However, things are not always happened as what we planned or what we assume, predict..sometimes, GOD did have His own plans and change out will....... I just tot and hope this is not going to happened!!!
It proves i was wrong!!! Yesterday around 1.30pm dad called me and told me this bad news that grandma just passed away afternoon around 12.30pm..
......I not deny that i not like her so much since she is kinda bias and never treat us good if compared to others, yet i can't admit that she is my grandmother, my kin, a person that make my life still able to go on now......and she is just..i have no reason to dislike her......So i really hope i can be there not with her last breath but at least last farewell......And things are not allowed here since I'm going to face my sem final exam that this can't be postpone or retake later...and i unable to go back even for her funeral...I feel damn sorry to grandmother and i dunno who to blame at all!!! Just kinda of feeling really not good!!!
All I can do here is feeling guilty, regretting, and hope that God hear my praying! I really feel please bcz at least i did seen her last time when she was hospitalized and so coincidence i went back that weekend. Since i seldom go back home so we rarely met v each other and great that i able to see her maybe once but at least i had...or else I'll feel regret for the whole of my life!!!
These few days my mood never been good!!
1 comment:
i feel sorry to hear what had happen....but life mz go on...and God have His plan that no one can predict it....Yu mei, hope u get through this very fast... No one should put a blame on...as no one can predict life of a person...God will heard ur prayer...Ur grandmother is rest peacefully in Heaven....May peace of God be with you....
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