Struggling~~

Shall I call @ contact her???
This question kept turning in my mind today.........izit a best way or the other way round?? I really wondering! Suddenly they mention her name which make me think of this person....someone that i had try to forget, try to erase from my memory yet when mention she seems just hiding deeply inside some place of my heart which I never wanted to explore it but it is just an 'eyewash'...I' m just lying myself all this while.......
Back to the topic....So...how?? should I ask for her help?I think we rather be like this than I step one foot forward...I can't even do it although another part of myself feel like is not a big deal after all this year..time passed for so long edy..Why m I letting myself suffering of thinking what should i do?Why are you all mention about her name? Who to blame? I don't know?I really confusing...
Better stop here before tears running down...As conclusion I better ask help from stranger than her....Final answer--> ????? (still no gut to decide ='( GosH........)